What this?

Saturday,17 May 2014 20:00

    Hey,there it’s me again scrapper and always on my fucking life.you know i’m feel like a little bit desperated for anything,i do a thing that everyone can’t do...and i’m tired.yeah...y’know? i’m just kind of little feelas and i need many supports from many peoples,but for sure?,there’s always no one for me,and y’know i don’t have anything here on my fucking life just my body and soul,money? Please don’t ask me,i’m still got it from my parent i even can’t buy something by my own money,i’m useless...this day i ever feels good from day until now i’m just feel fuckin strees...i’m just thinkin’ bout my future because i know there’s nobody agreed about what kind of future that i like to choose,because of that i just can dream it off.i hope no one would command on me anymore i need some free indeed.i want freedom,and every people want to be free.

Saturday, 17 May 2014 22:13

Still in fuckin Saturday dude,and nothing became good in this life,but it still go on and pass so monoton like a pantonim thing?i think yes,because i’m feel so black and white nothing change here i’m bored i wanna make some change but something told me to not.i’m confused at the same time,i’m tired for being haunted and guilty i wanna go away from this fuckin life i wanna go,but not to die just dissapear to some place that peace and quite,can i?someone told me to be honest but until when?i’m just tired for being honest and heaven know i try my best and i need some intermezo for my life.i’m just fuckin’ tired,i’m tired of this day,this life,this place and everything good on my life every body told me for being good but as they now,i’m just a lil’ bastard.

Sunday,18 May 2014 23:45

Hello it’s me again welcome to my midnight journal (?),this day i’m felt fucking guilty but i don’t know for who?,i’m just felt like that.-ha ha you’re dead...ha ha you’re dead and i’m happy-#np-ha ha you’re dead-greenday-i’m just fucking in love with this song i don’t know why maybe because i feel happy when i think i will gave it to my fucking friend.

Sunday,25 May 2014 01:45

 Hello all,it’s me again  long time i’m not writing on this doc. I’m in between now you know why? I’ve been kicked off by my own mother and it doesn’t give me a chance and i’m tired if i must pass it all by this way i wanna change my way like turn back or turn left i just don’t want be flat ,and i’ve falling again into a fight and it’s going to be more serious hate it.i just don’t  doing anything like you know i just saying the truth and my mother went angry,felt guilty?of course yes.but not too much.

Sunday,01 June 2014 21:54

Hi,all rappers it’s  gonna be fucking long time i’m not write on this fucking place.yeah,back to me in ussual spirit but not not with ussual situation,i bought some bad news of course as you know,i’m in fucking bad disease now,i’ve got a liversore and that was fucking hurting ma’self,i must be aware for now on,and you know,my nose always bleeding when i’m feeling bad,or tired,and my eyes it become rather on yellow than white i think and i’m fuckin’ afraid to tell my father fuckin’ afraid.you know,i’ve been tell it to my job partner the capt we share about our own disease and it fuckin’ hurting me,yeah,you know i don’t want being like this i wanna free i wanna feel free...

Wednesday,11 June 2014 23:04

Hheeeyy....it’s fucking long time not write in this fucking place,and of course you all missed many story from me, i appologize(./\.)...ok,where we’ll start? Oh right y’know i passed the test *yeaay...*and now i’m just waiting for the result of my national examination it’s fuckin made me strees a little,and the second story was,my job partner the captain is having a bornday on 08 June 2014 i gave her a congratulation word and she write it down on her blog,wwooohhooo...i’m fucking glad J.and the question is...when i will post this to my blog?,yeah i just don’t care just let this be my own journal,because i think no one care bout’ my life :/.ok,just forget bout my fuckin’ life ._.,ok,then the third story was i will come to my graduation on 13 June 2014 so i just think i can’t write until 15 June 2014 why a graduation can be that long?...ha ha. As you know i’m a boarding school girl and a graduation can eated my fuckin’ two days on that fuckin’ place ._. maybe enough for this day,bye...

#NP-Pieces-sum41

#NP-Paradise-coldplay

#NP-Make it mine-Jason Mraz

Sunday,29 June 2014 22:56

   Heiho...rap here,and i’m back to write down the story of my fuckin’ life.you know?,it’s gonna be fucking bad Sunday from all of my fucking Sunday,everybody just freaked out and i didn’t even know why,they’re act like a madman ._.,and early my sister broke my pc’s set ._. so i can’t use it for a while,and my parents doesn’t know it,and you know,i’m affraid to tell them -_-,sounds like a loosers?.yes.i feel it too but if i’m telling them they will be more freaked out and it will made me send to a nearest hospital because this fucking bad situation -_-,gee...and i wanna question why,

1.why my family being weird since a week ago?

2.how can a teenagers like me get a money to fix my pc’s set?

No one can answer it,and no one cares yeah i know no one cares ._.,sometimes i just wondering how does it feel for bein’ an orphant,i don’t need parent’s,Liar?,No.it was sure pure from my heart i’ll get a better life without a parents ._.,ah,just stop this bullshit then,another topic?No,i don’t have any idea,maybe i must resting my head for a while because i haven’t sleep since yesterday,this fuckin’ insomniac is annoyed me,but i enjoyed it when i even can’t close my eyes ,okay then maybe just enough story for this day i hope i’ll get a ‘better’ life eventhough it’s just a fuckin little better life J.

#NP-Don’t Stop-Foster The People

#NP-Crimson Day-A7x

#NP-Give Me Novacaine-Greenday

Unknown Remaining Time

Oh,my...i’m started act weird like a madman ._.,i broke everything,i throw my guitar and it’s now lost ._.,what happend with me?am i drunked?No,i even don’t touch an alcohol,i’m just a teenagers and i don’t want to,and now my father won’t talk to me because i broke his ‘beloved-yeaks-‘  violin ._.and now he said to me to buy my own thing by my own money,WHAT?!?!?!?!....is he crazy?,i even can’t get a money,and i need my guitar now ._. how can i buy a new guitar when a left handed guitar can be so fucking expensive?,*sigh*,and where i can get my own money?,i didn’t have any experience on any job ._.,and i regreting something,why i was born being a left handed?it’s hard to find something that comfortable to use,and everything that connected to a left handed thing would be so fucking expensive,i’m not coming from a rich family where i can buy anything i want,everybody says i’m rich?,gee...i’m not rich,but,my parent rich ._.,*huft*now my problem is how can i get a money when i didn’t have any experience at any job,working with my fucking band?,oh,fuck band ._. i didn’t have a guitar to play,borrow?,oh,shit from who?everybody is a right handed here i just can’t found a left handed.

FoolàLeft Handed Guitaristàthat’s me ._.

I think i just go back to sleep and have a nice sleep but i think the sun started to rise ._. oh,my..it’s been my third day,oh,can you believe?,i haven’t sleep at least for three days?,oh,shit fuck insomniac,fuck cafeine,fuck everything ._. *sigh* see?,i’m started act like a madman...maybe i’m better off...bye...

Unknown Time Remaining

Hei,i’m back and i’m still can’t sleep and i think this fuckin’ insomniac getting more worse than i can though,it there’s something can make this shit better?,i’m tired i wanna sleep but i just can’t,and it’s weird for me for just staring at this fuckin’ roof and not doin anything,this not me for sure,but,what can i do?,if i left this home and come back when the sun rises i think,i would be killed by my parents because they even won’t let me left the house at 17:00. i’m a racer.yeah, an ‘ilegal’ racer i would back from my race place at 23:00 or 00:00 but then when i’m reach the front of my front gate there would be my mother or father standing in front of the door staring at me with the look ‘where are you heading?,it’s gonna be fucking late’,and it’ll be fall into a fight and they won’t let me out from my fucking bedroom,and it’s not me if not trying to left from this fucking cage,i’ll jump from my bedroom on the second floor and escaping ma’self to a place that just god and me who know that place,let me draw that place on your mind,it’s just kinda building,old building that quite and peace where,from there i can see the light of that fuckin night live,i’d love to sleep there one or two night until i feel my self better enough to go back to reality...i’m such a liar?Hah,it’s all up to you want to believe or not,but i’m telling the truth this is my real life that everyone said good enough for me,meh...but in fact?i never treated good in this life even on my family,kind of bad girl?whatever you wanna say about me,i don’t care because this is my life and all the shit i wrote here it was all true i would never wrote a lie.

Tuesday,01 July 2014 01:30

See?,my friend made this for us (me,capt,and gun)how does it looks?i don’t know but in my eyes it kinda cool...we have a dream and that’s our dream being like them and be famous,eventhough everybody says we never can be like them,but is it false to try?i put a big hope on this band,okay,enough story for my band,what?more?umm...sorry i can’t give more :p,another topic?,Yeah of course cuz’ i have another topic to talk now,but still about my fuckin’ life umm..is it okay?ok,great let’s go then...this is about my fuckin’ insomniac ._.,guess what?yeah taht’s right(?) i can’t sleep,yeah everybody that had an insomniac can’t sleep,but is  it normal if an insomniac can’t sleep for five days?...and i’m not getting tired at all,i’ve been thinking to use some sleep pils back,but...my mom told me to not,because i used it before and i’m ended up at hospital because i can’t wake up ._.(overdosage).well enough for fuckin’ insomniac ._.,you know?i’m getting bored here...i wanna go out but now my parent locked all the gates door and windows so i can’t go anywhere ._.,*sigh*,maybe i’d better wacth some movie to wipe this bored feel,okay,i’m gonna wacth some movie and get some coffe,i’ll take brick mansion for the movie...wanna join?... :)